February 27, 2012
One of the pitfalls of parenting is forgetting that we are the parent. This can lead to sqaubbels, face-offs, pettiness and a general feeling of inadequacy or helplessness. What happens on a deeper level is that our child is at a certain age, a certain stage with certain issues, and we will be triggered right back to our experience of that age. The part of us that remained unresolved, unhealed or “un-grown” can be woken up, and we act out from there.
There is nothing wrong with that as such. It just is. However, it can become very distressing if we stay stuck there.
So use each phase of your child’s growth to pinpoint where it challenges you, and grow through it. Step up to grow up…..this is a golden opportunity!
February 5, 2012
It’s common knowledge that small children learn by copying. They copy gestures, sounds they hear that become speech, movements that become walking…………in other words, as their parents, we are their examples of how to be a human.
We also try to set an example of moral behaviour, social acceptibility, manners etc. Yet our children will reach even deeper, and take on our example of emotional patterns, mind sets, blind spots. It’s not possible to be so perfect that they don’t pick up some of our not so shiny characteristics.
The best example we can be for our child is to be willing to work on ourselves, to see where we aren’t going so well and make an effort to change that. Give them the example that being human isn’t being perfect, but being eager to improve!
January 28, 2012
We know we love our children. Because we see into our own hearts. But between our inner heart and our outer voice lie all our experiences and habits that colour how we express ourselves. So are our children hearing our inner heart or our life of hurts and reactions?
Hear your inner heart. Speak from your inner heart. Let your children hear that you love them from that clear place. Sift out what belongs to you from what belongs to your child.
Listen to your own voice throughout the day. What are your children really hearing?